The Real Mharj

I may look happy.

I may look fulfilled.

I may look successful.

You may feel positive vibes in me.

You may say that I am living my life to the fullest.

You may say I almost have everything.

But no, you are definitely wrong. I don't really show my real emotions to the people I know. 'Coz it felt like its not right and awkward at the same time. I always joke on almost everything. But deep inside I am also fragile. I only show this when I am alone. 

I always have the "me time alone" where I will just go to places and sit there for hours contemplating and procrastinating on what's happening on my life. This is the time that I use to let all the negativity sets in on my system. 

I don't know, I really just have this tendency to be really really negative about life and also an instance to be really really positive about it too. Well, this is just me. Probably, I just need somebody who could understand me. Who could really feel the emotion that I am feeling. Not just the one who will say things that could cheer me up.

No matter what I do to cheer myself up, to motivate myself up, its just not really enough. 

I know one day, things will change. I am still waiting for that day. 

I am just so emo today. haha!

Mharj:)